It’s hard to find a companion as a single person in Pittsburgh in 2019. The median age in the city is around 33, which significantly narrows the field. Bars and clubs are packed with Quaalude-toting jackals. And what can a dating app built by some self-righteous, Silicon Valley nerd know about who or what a Pittsburgher is looking for?
Luckily, a group of tech-savvy locals have created a new app called Yinzer Mingle, which they promise will disrupt the Pittsburgh dating scene.
Yinzer Mingle - Commercial
According to the unnamed company’s press release, “Yinzer Mingle is the product of the most respected relationship and technology minds in the Greater Pittsburgh region: bar patrons who are good at erotic Photo Hunt. Our employees are consistently ranked in the top 10 of Photo Hunt professionals worldwide. They are extremely knowledgeable about both body parts and touch-screen technology, the two main pieces of any dating app.’”
Yinzer Mingle works similarly to other dating apps: users create a bio and select options from key areas of compatibility including hobbies, dream vacations, and food, each tailored toward Pittsburgh sensibilities.
“Not everybody wants to go dahn to one those fancy fondue restaurants. I can get like five Superburger Combos for those kinda prices!” says the lead product designer who goes only by Jeffrey.
“Yinzer Mingle’s categories treat Pittsburgh dating the way it used to be. The way it is supposed to be!
‘You like jumbo sammiches?’
‘Yes.’
‘I do too. Let’s make aht.’”
When two users get enough matches, live within three miles of each other, and don’t have to cross any rivers to meet up, each gain access to the other’s profile and contact information. Jeffrey calls this “The Golden Triangle of Compatibility.”
The beta version of the app has over 50 users, and every user has been matched up three times each. Jeffrey explains that the high rate of successful matches as a testament to the technology.
“Our algorithms are top-notch. We bought ’em off a guy who makes thousands selling knock-off Steelers hoodies in the strip. So, you know he’s smart.”
Jeffrey hopes to get another 50 users by July and plans to make a strong promotional push at his cousin’s corndog stand during this year’s Regatta.
