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WAITING

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When dining out, most of us choose not to ponder what goes on behind the scenes, even though we know that food-service work is a miserable grind of sore feet, steamy kitchens, smelly Dumpsters and jerky customers -- all rewarded with social-life-killing schedules and low wages. Well, disconnect no more: Writer/director Rob McKittrick wants to smash the truths about dropped food, bathroom sex, entrée-genital contact, mental co-workers and stoned busboys right in your face -- and call it funny. We get the full raunchy platter -- everything you never wanted to know about dick-obsessed cooks, shy bladders and a party trick called "The Goat" -- but not a crumb of it is funny. The film stars Ryan Reynolds and Justin Long (who, with this kind of career pick, you may see waiting your table soon), with supporting help from should-know-betters Chi McBride and Luis Guzman. (AH)

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