Then, when the sun rises again, its time for the second annual Day of Truth, created by the Alliance Defense Fund, a Phoenix law firm specializing in the legal defense and advocacy of religious freedom, mainly by speaking truth to the powerless. It calls for students in those very same schools to counter the Day of Silence by decrying gay peoples right to be gay in the name of a loving God.
You have nine days to recover.
Then on May 7, America will wake up to a dueling pair of first annual holidays destined to make people forget the war on Christmas. Its Ten Commandments Day versus Ten Amendments Day.
Commandments Day is brought to you by the self-selected Ten Commandments Commission, dedicated to the idea that all laws are not created equal. Ten Amendments Day is the brainchild of the Council for Secular Humanism, dedicated to the idea that all men are not created.
The Day of Silence predicts tens of thousands of participants this year, including many Pittsburghers, while the Truth-ites claim more than 1,000 kids took part last year, yet refuse to divulge the name of a single local participant, despite my repeated requests. Lord knows who will participate in the Decalogue blowout, although organizers have the backing of many religious groups. The Bill of Rights pushers have a pathetic two events scheduled so far: a panel discussion in Indianapolis and a speaker in wait for it Hollywood.
Perplexed? Unsure what to wear, how to celebrate, or which present to get for that special someone with whom you share nothing but a life-defining ideological bond?
Fret no longer. You can avoid the embarrassment of sending the wrong card or form e-mail by using this handy guide to the Days of our lives:
Silence: Cel-e-brate Hushed Times Come On!
Truth: May the Truth Set You Free, Or May You Enjoy Being Set Upon By Us.
Commandments: Because Celebrating Once a Week Isnt Enough.
Amendments: Lets Love the Second Amendment, Just for Today.
Silence: School auditorium
Truth: Local preachers living room
Commandments: Pay-per-view rally with inflammatory sermonettes
Amendments: Solo chat-room attendance
Silence: Meeting bigotry with a more eloquent silence than usual
Truth: Meeting silence with a more eloquent bigotry than usual
Commandments: Defend the Tenth Commandment by making sure you dont covet your neighbors house.
Amendments: Defending the Third Amendment by making sure there are no soldiers in your neighbors house.
Silence: Were here, were queer, dont get used to the quiet act.
Truth: Jesus loves you, yes I know; what are you going to do about it?
Commandments: Two, Four, Six, Eight those are the numbers of some of the Commandments
Amendments: What do we want? When do we want it?
Silence: Official T-shirts with slogan: If Youre Questioning, Ill Have the Answer in a Few Hours.
Truth: Official T-shirts with slogan: We Know This Much Is True.
Commandments: Clerical garb over official T-shirts with slogan: We Put the Try in Zealotry.
Amendments: Official T-shirts with faux Latin conjugation of amend.
Silence: Personal-size chalk board, pastel chalk and dust-free erasers
Truth: Sword, shield
Commandments: Board game Smite the Idol Worshipper
Amendments: Free membership in the planning committee for Rest of the Amendments Day