Tips for navigating parties, relationships, and sexual health for college freshman | Peepshow | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

Tips for navigating parties, relationships, and sexual health for college freshman

Dear college freshmen, 

For many of you, this is the first time you are living away from home. This newfound freedom will open up new opportunities for romantic relationships and sexual exploration. While this is really exciting, it can also be overwhelming and scary! To help you navigate this new terrain, I reached out to my Twitter community to find out what my followers wished they'd known about dating and sex when they were your age. Their answers were so insightful, I wanted to share some of the highlights.  

Self-Knowledge & Self-Love:

Get right with yourself sexually before bringing other people into your bed. How do you get off? What porn do you like? What is your ideal setup: Hookup? Romance? Monogamy? Playing the field? Find ways other than intercourse to share pleasure. — Nina Hartley

Orientation/Identity:

Don’t be afraid to challenge your sexuality. I walked into college thinking I was bisexual and came out as gay a year later. Use this time to experiment and learn about yourself. — Wee Babe  

Identities are not mutually exclusive, and are not forever. You can be bi AND ace AND pan AND genderqueer, all at the same time, and that doesn’t mean you have to commit to being all of those things next week, much less next year. — Katherine Barclay

Sexually Transmitted Infections & Contraception:

Be honest with your doctor about your sex practices and test as often as they recommend. — Gemma Paradise

Plan B may not work for women with a higher BMI, so know your options. — Tracy Russo

Don’t buy any excuse a guy gives you about not wearing a condom. … If they slip a condom off in the middle of sex after you insisted on one? That’s rape. Because, consent. — Gaia Glee

Parties & Drinking:

Never drink anything you didn’t see poured. After one drink, switch to water which you carried in with you. — Claudia

Never do anything sexual with someone for the first time while you or they are altered.—  Jeremy Dunn

Consent:

Just because you start making out with someone doesn’t mean you are obligated to have sex with them. You can revoke consent at any time. — Melinda Frevert 

Don’t feel pressured to do anything sexually that you aren’t prepared for or comfortable with. Everyone has different needs, desire, and comfort levels. Be true to what you want to do.—  Rob Williams

Relationships:

You won’t like everyone, and not everyone will like you, and that’s perfectly okay. ... Spend time, instead, on finding the RIGHT people — for YOU. — Kelly Shibari

Ending relationships:

You didn’t fail if a relationship ends that you thought was forever. Take what you learned, spend time alone to see who you are now, bring that into your next relationship. — Joan Price  

Seeking help:

Seek professional help if you’re confused, in trouble, upset, or just want to talk about dating and sexuality. … See your student health services for birth control or STI testing. See counsellors for dating and sexuality advice. Join clubs, like LGBT alliances. Get the most out of your money. — Galey

And if you need more advice than what’s listed here, don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends, like I did.

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