Thank You for Flying Steeler One
Summary: The Steelers land safely in Tampa and a KDKA reporter nearly wets himself with joy. Reporter: John Shumway, KDKA Channel 2 Airtime: 2 minutes on Jan. 26 Visuals: * Steelers lumbering down the stairs of their plane in Tampa, looking confused, as if to say, "Whoa! It's warm here! And there's ... the sun! Am I still on Earth?" Highlights: * When anchor Stacy Smith heralds, "The Steelers have indeed arrived in Tampa for Super Bowl XLIII ... [Shumway] was on the plane with the team; he joins us now live on the newsline." * When an exuberant Shumway reports: "I'll tell ya what, Stacy, this is one happy bunch. ... [T]hey announced that the call sign of the airplane had been changed to officially be 'Steeler One' for the flight down to Tampa and a very uneventful, smooth flight down, and as we landed at Tampa International ... you saw a bunch of pillows flying up in the area where the players were and then coming off everybody had a video camera going." * When he exclaims, "They got on their buses headed for the team hotel ... then into meetings a little bit later. ... By Wednesday, the team starts getting buttoned down ... and it's the business of football." * When Shumway concludes (and, maybe, ejaculates), "They were having a great time on the airplane, they had a great time coming off the plane and as you saw, they are in the mood to have some fun down here in Tampa." * When Smith asks the real stumper, "Hey, John, I got one question for you -- was there any difference that you could see between the people who have been to a Super Bowl before and those who have not?" * When Shumway, just self-contained enough to answer, says, "You know what? They're all acting like big kids. They say it doesn't matter whether they've been to a game or not." What We Learned: If the Steelers win, and yinz guys drink like I know you do, a lot of people are going to be peeing their pants come Sunday! Unanswered Question: Tell us the good stuff, John -- did they get more than five peanuts for their in-flight snack? News Value: 1. Odds are pretty good that if you take a plane, you are not going to crash. Especially if you're headed to the Super Bowl.
Ground Control to Major Tomlin
Summary: A local astronaut is astronuts for the Black and Gold! Reporter: Wendy Bell, WTAE Channel 4 Airtime: 42 seconds on Jan. 16 Visuals: * An astronaut commander spinning in space with the Terrible Towel! * Bell cleverly pointing two fingers upward to indicate "space." Highlights: * When Bell yells, "Hey, the five astronauts aboard the International Space Station have yet to miss a single NFL playoff game all the way up there, thanks to Mission Control in Houston keeping them plugged in. The expedition's commander is Emsworth native Michael Fincke, and he showed today for whom he's rooting." * When a microphone-holding Fincke dons a Steelers cap and proclaims, "Up here in space, it's Steeler Country." * When Bell urges, "OK. Wait, wait, watch, 'cause he starts to spin that [Terrible Towel]. Oops, it's upside down. I can fix that. There you go!" (Anchor Andrew Stockey heartily guffaws in background, because zero-gravity is hilarious!) "Fincke and his fellow astronauts are three months into his six-month tour. He's a great guy. He's been here at the station before." What We Learned: Thousands of years in the future, archeologists will dig up the remains of these golden Towels, and conclude that the reason for their water scarcity is that the people of our time took way too many showers. Unanswered Question: If I come to the station, will you call me a great girl, Wendy? News Value: 5. There's no doubt about the coolness factor of a Terrible Towel in outer space. But Bell and Stockey's amazement at zero gravity makes me want to cry into mine.