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The Young and the Relentless

A GOP firebrand turns against his own

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"They want to scare, intimidate and punish and blacklist anyone who's connected with our organization." -- Chris Lilik

 


Several state lawmakers are shitting their pants over a pissing contest with a piss-ant snot-nosed young conservative. He's making their lives a living hell.

 

I took great pride last year in snickering at 26-year-old Chris Lilik, a moppy-haired whirling dervish of conservative nutbaggery, when his nearly successful effort to defeat the moderate Sen. Arlen Specter with the conservative Pat Toomey fell short.

 

But nobody's laughing at Lilik now. A former Duquesne University law student, he's now the head of Young Conservatives of Pennsylvania, the group spearheading the drive to repeal the outrageous 16- to 34-percent pay raise the greedy pigs we call "legislators" handed themselves a few weeks ago.

 

You want balls? Lilik's got balls. He purchased radio ads castigating powerful Republican Senate President Pro-Tem Robert Jubelirer in his home district for backing the pay raise. Lilik says that as a result, a private investigator has been looking into Lilik's background. Some of his friends feel he's just committed career suicide.

 

"You don't win in this country by being on the outside pissing in," says Republican pundit "Mean" Bill Green. "Being on the outside and pissing on somebody like Bob Jubelirer, that's just not a wise thing to do."

 

Yet Lilik's political golden showers are multiplying. He plans to do radio ads attacking Democrats as well, including House Minority Leader Bill DeWeese, and party Whip Mike Veon, whom Lilik says is vulnerable because he railed against a previous pay raise years ago to get elected.

 

Lilik claims a major billboard company in the state has refused to run anti-pay-raise ads because they've been intimidated by the Republican leadership. "They want to scare, intimidate and punish and blacklist anyone who's connected with our organization," he says of the party's higher-ups.

 

Green says this hornet's nest is the buzz of Harrisburg. It's definitely the talk of talk radio, where KDKA's Mike Pintek and Fred Honsberger have been beating this dead horse till it comes back to life and then starting all over again. And you know an issue is growing when conservatives like those guys and liberals like yours truly are on the same page.

 

It's difficult to discern what is the most vomit-inducing part of this shameful money grab. For some, it's the outrageous size of the raise itself, when so many Americans will never ever see a raise like that their entire lives. For others, it's the disgraceful end-run around the Pennsylvania constitution, which says you can't vote yourself a legislative pay raise and get it during the current term. Legislators sidestepped that one with the "unvouchered expenses" scam.

 

Then there's the fact that they already have legislative perks up the wazoo.

 

These are not original observations, but why do we pay for them to have a private barber? They can't afford their own freaking haircuts? And this one kills me: They get a car leased for them, their insurance is paid for, but they still get to declare mileage and be reimbursed!

 

So, how does Lilik, a conservative Republican wunderkind, feel about the potential "swiftboating" of Chris Lilik? Does he find it ironic that his fellow Republicans are using their famously vicious tactics to try to dig up dirt on him?

 

"We knew it would be David versus Goliath, and we knew every dirty trick in the book would be played," he says.

 

One Republican friend of mine is disgusted by both sides. He calls the legislative leaders a "den of thieves" and points out that the Democrats could have positioned themselves as the outraged outsiders. If they had the balls of, say, Chris Lilik, they could even have tried using the issue to recapture control of the legislature. Instead, they're just lining up at the trough with the other pigs.

 

Green, however, points out that had the Democrats not agreed to this thievery in the first place, the Republicans never would have let it get to the floor.

 

Green further predicts this thing will blow over before next year's elections. I say let's prove him wrong. Let's be on the right side of this pissing contest, and ride this golden shower into the sunset. Gross, huh? Not as gross as these legislative swine.

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