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THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

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The waterfront Dutch Colonial is a real bargain for George (Ryan Reynolds), his wife Kathy (Melissa George) and their young family. Too bad the heating vents emit howls, blood drips down the walls and light bulbs burn out with alarming regularity. But that's to be expected in a house famed for a gruesome mass murder -- or in house whose reputedly based-on-fact story we've already seen way back in 1979. Andrew Douglas' remake treads the familiar squeaky boards with a cast of lackluster nobodies (though Reynolds has a superbly muscled chest which is bared and flexed in no less than three scenes). This is rote mindless entertainment -- a plodding thriller with no suspense, hurtling past with amateur obviousness and silly CGI ghosts substituted for intrigue. As the house drives its occupants mad, you'll just as quickly be driven to boredom. (AH)

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