Session #3 | Chapter and Verse | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

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Session #3

[In which I am informed of my identity]

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I'm sitting in the office of some
fucking flavor-of-the-week psychiatrist,
pretend to listen while he tells me that
I was the doll of this boy,
this man, this monster,
I was brainwashed and domesticated.
I've confused love with bruises and broken bones, the hollowness
that comes after. I am in a room with a man
who tells me
I'm a victim, still.

I'm on the maximum dosage
of some anti-anxiety/anti-depression/
anti-everything pill;
I won't be haunted,
feel the pain of my past, feel
anything at all.
He says these
will make you
whole again, these
will make you forget,
he tells me
I was just desperate, a girl who wanted
to be loved by anyone.
I sit there silent,
wondering how much
I'd have to hate myself
to fall for a lie
like that.

— Sam Sakerka

Sam Sakerka's work has been previously published in Girls With Glasses: Issue One. In 2012, she received the Marilyn Donnelly Poetry Award for her poem "This Impossible Body." She is an open-mic emcee for The Hungry Sphinx Reading Series and lives in Oakland. Many writers featured in Chapter & Verse are guests of Prosody, produced by Jan Beatty and Ellen Wadey. Prosody airs every Saturday morning on 90.5 FM.

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