NHL hockey is fun outdoors, but hockey over a shark tank kicks it up a notch | Sports News | Pittsburgh | Pittsburgh City Paper

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NHL hockey is fun outdoors, but hockey over a shark tank kicks it up a notch

There are plenty of other games that are perfect for alternate locations

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CP photo illustration
  • CP photo illustration

I’m not sure why we like it so much, but watching NHL games played in stadiums is just stinking fun. I like that the play of the game can be affected by the weather. It was cold and windy on Feb. 26 when the Penguins beat the Philadelphia Flyers at Heinz Field.

That got me thinking that there are plenty of other games that are perfect for alternate locations. Here are some thoughts.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Cleveland Browns in a junkyard or garbage dump.

This would be a convenient location because after the Steelers beat the Browns by eight touchdowns, the Browns could just stay at the trash heap, which matches their level of play. Or they could gather up some old scrap and build a quarterback from scratch rather than trying to draft one.

Philadelphia Flyers vs. Washington Capitals on thin ice over a shark tank.

The concept is pretty self-explanatory. We get the sharks really worked up with in-tank screenings of Jaws and Sharknado. The two teams play for as long as the ice holds up. And if a player commits a foul, instead of him going to the penalty box, the referees tie a bloody steak to the offending player’s uniform. The survivors … um … winners then get an automatic bye to the conference semifinals.

The Pittsburgh Marathon run on the dirt track at the Lernerville speedway.

Because of its terrain, this marathon is considered one of the nation’s toughest races. It will make it even harder when all 5,000 runners are crammed onto one track to run almost 70 laps. And just like in auto racing, you can do a little bumping and jostling to make headway; feel free to chuck your opponent into a wall.

The Cleveland Browns vs. the Aliquippa Quips in The Pit on Friday night.

Yes, I know that Aliquippa is a high school football team, but the Cleveland Browns are like a mediocre Pop Warner franchise. Plus, any team that enters The Pit, the Quips’ stadium, is an automatic three-point underdog. But in this game, Aliquippa is easily a 10-point favorite.


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