- Crown Media
- Candace Cameron Bure as a shoe addict/terrible photographer.
I did not expect a movie called A Shoe Addict’s Christmas to be so little about shoes and so much about Christianity and time travel.
When she gets trapped in the department store overnight during a snowstorm, Noelle meets an angel/spirit guide (Jean Smart) who acts like a deranged Christmas clown. She tells Noelle life’s passing her by, she needs to take more chances, needs to regain her faith, etc.
The angel gives her a pair of shoes that, when Noelle puts them on, makes her travel back in time to very minor conflicts in her life, like when she didn’t get coffee with her dad once, forever hindering their relationship.
Noelle is also in charge of a firefighter gala sponsored by the department store, along with firefighter Jake (Luke Macfarlane), who is also her new neighbor. He looks like a very good looking cardboard box. They don’t get along at first because he wants balloons and other fun/childish things at the gala and she is uptight, just like all women, am I right?!
- Crown Media
- Ah, Christmas ghost-induced love
The angel keeps leaving shoes for Noelle to put on so she can travel back in time/travel ahead in time to what her life would be like if she got coffee with her dad once. It's all some metaphor for what happens when you lose your faith/stray from God/I don't know I'm Jewish. At the beginning of the movie, Noelle decides not to put on her cross necklace. But at the end, when she understands the meaning/religion of Christmas, she puts it on.
At one point the angel explains to Noelle that sometimes God offers signs, only she calls them “sleighs,” as in, when God offers you a sleigh, you should hop on. In this metaphor, is God also Santa? Is that a thing? To top it off, Noelle's last name is carpenter. Noelle Carpenter. Noelle means Christmas, which is Jesus’ birthday, who was a carpenter. Stab me!
It’s a Hallmark Movie, so obviously, the plot is useless and the acting is terrible. That’s the point! But even for a cheesy Christmas movie, A Shoe Addict's Christmas is brutal. The story is especially nonsensical and the acting is extremely wretched. Each sentence uttered by Candace Cameron Bure is painful and I kept waiting for her to stop uttering sentences.
A Shoe Addict's Christmas is now airing on the Hallmark Channel.