Four horny teens from Ohio ramble across Europe on a summer vacation-slash-quest for a hot German chick. Europe is besmirched in the following fashions: England is full of soccer hooligans, including the braying Vinnie Jones; the Louvre turns out to be an endless admission line; Amsterdam is a big sex-and-drugs rip-off; Italians are apt to be serial homosexual ass-grabbers; the Vatican is a funhouse for visiting goofballs; Germany is for Hitler imitations; and Bratislava is just a shithole. Absinthe is guzzled, shirts go up, pants go down, yet there's barely a guffaw to be had in Jeff Schaffer's trying-too-hard romp. Hell, there's not even any scenic eye-candy, since they shot the whole damn movie in Prague using CGI gimmicks for defining European monuments. There's one inspired moment of physical comedy when our hero (Scott Mechlowicz) gets into a wordless duel with a robot-styled mime in Paris. Also of note: Eurotrip may be the only mainstream American movie to feature scenes of blobby, middle-aged naked men jumping about in all their full-frontal glory. Still, that quirk can hardly be expected to pull 'em in at the box office.