Not that anybody should bother re-working one of America's best-loved comedies, the 1959 Billy Wilder romp Some Like It Hot, but if you were going to, you'd be well advised to make it funny -- and double-gender-bending is sooooo stale. Frowsy dinner-theater performers Connie (Nia Vardalos) and Carla (Toni Collette) on the run from the mob go incognito as drag queens. Are you shrieking with laughter yet? Somebody more capable (My Big Fat Greek Wedding's Vardalos scripted and Michael Lembeck directs) might have mined cleverness from this mixed-gender mess, but what we get is girls who love boys (yawn), boys who love girls (double yawn), and worst of all, a dozen or so flaaaaaammmmmiiinnnggg but cuddly homosexuals who mince, call each other "Mary" and melt for Mame. The film screams "congratulate me, I'm queer-friendly," but its only tensions are the heterosexual hook-ups and the gay-phobic dream date (David Duchovny). Tellingly, none of the gay men have boyfriends, but ohmigosh, look at that fabulous wig! Collette and Vardalos gamely do their own mediocre singing; Collette, with her atypical facial features, actually makes a very believable drag queen. In sum: It's something we might have seen on Laverne & Shirley, if that show had just been the teeniest bit more daring.