This week's Suburban Beat begins with, honestly, the best headline of the week, anywhere, which comes to us from the Regent Square-Forest Hills Patch police blotter:
The woman, it seems, ran into a pole because she was applying hand lotion while driving. (Ban that, Harrisburg.) The girls were simply "grazing" — applying lotion at Giant Eagle, without reallllly actually buying it.
This one is a little confusing:
Police received a call about a pit bull being walked on Koenig Field. The owner was advised to find another place to walk the dog.
Someone called the police because someone else was walking a dog on the baseball field?
Aaaaand then there's this one:
A resident of Edgewood Avenue called police to report that someone was playing pornographic movies at a loud volume. Police checked but could not hear the noise.
Over at the Canon-Mac Patch, we find the winner of our "Lede of the Week" contest:
Cecil Township police said someone wrote "(expletive deleted) you" with spray paint on two picnic tables in the park on Third Street in Lawrence this past weekend.
And finally, in Brookline, a recent spate of thefts has gotten truly ugly:
A case of harmonicas was stolen from a store in the 800 block of Brookline Boulevard in Brookline on Sept. 14 at 1:15 a.m.
Thanks as always to our local Patch reporters for throwing all of this together for us to enjoy!