Regular readers of this blog (s'up, Bram? and as for the CP staffers who make up the rest of my audience, get back to work!) know that just yesterday, I posted a snarky little screed regarding Richard Florida, the expat Creative Class guru who fled Pittsburgh for greener pastures. I noted that Florida had gotten married, and that his wife Rana, who is also the CEO of Florida's consulting company, writes a syndicated advice column called "The Lowdown" with three of her sisters.

In a particularly juvenile turn, I submitted a question of my own to their column. I posed as a lovelorn reader who'd lost a Very Special Knowledge Worker to a woman with a lot more flash than I could offer. The idea, see, was that the guy in question was Florida himself: If the Kozouz sisters could tell us how to handle his departure, we'd know how to how to hold on to knowledge workers just like him. Then we wouldn't need Florida and his "talent retention strategies" anymore. Ha, ha, ha. 

So. Below is the advice given by the Kozouz sisters, who responded to my desperate plea within hours. It's written in the typical "Lowdown" format, with each sister offering me her own unique take on the question. Be warned: It features Rana Florida advising me to "calm my aching loins," which for some reason is only making things worse. But on the whole, I think the advice stacks up pretty well when compared to, say, the average Post-Gazette "Pittsburgh 250" essay.

I should note that when the Sisters Kozouz penned their advice, they knew exactly who I was and what I was up to. Within two hours of my blog post yesterday, Richard Florida sent me a good-natured e-mail about it. From this I conclude that Florida has special internet powers, and a Google news thingy that tells you when your name is being posted somewhere. Either that, or he has his grad students Web-searching his name every 15 or 20 minutes all day long. I'm hoping it's actually the latter -- because I decided yesterday to live vicariously through Florida and his sky-diving, Rollerblading bride. 

With that, let's get to the advice column itself, which the Kozouz Sisters have thoughtfully titled "Pitiful in the Burg." (It's like they really do know all about me!)

Dear Lowdown,

I had a whirlwind romance with a great guy -- handsome, smart, and almost too hip for words. But eventually he left because, he said, I didn't appreciate him or his talents enough. I thought I was over him at first … but I've just discovered that he's found a woman, and a life, that provide excitement I could never match. Is there any way I can get him back? Or at least to stop grieving over his loss?

Sign me,

Heartbroken in Pittsburgh

Smart, talented and handsome? I live in a suburb of Detroit, and let’s just say when something like that comes around, women scratch each other’s eyes out to hold on. And let me tell you, they hold on for dear life. What were you thinking, sista?

— Reham

I encourage you to analyze your actions. Start a list and write down what you did right and what you did wrong. Hopefully, the second time around you can be more upbeat and appreciative.

— Ruba

First of all, calm your aching loins. Was he really all that hip? Get over it; I’m sure there are other men out there for you.

— Rana

I always say, true love is so hard to find. You need to give this guy a second chance and make your way back apologetically into the arms of this perfect "place." If he’s the one, he’ll take you back and make sure you treat him right this time around.

— Leena