Each new year comes a new chance to dream. Sometimes, that's all we have. Unless, like me, you are fortunate to also have the unmitigated pleasure of mocking the Pittsburgh TV news. And this would be my wish list for 2011:
* I wish Pittsburghers would stop making fun of Ken Rice's eyebrows. I mean eyebrow. Let's show Ken some love on his Facebook page, "Fans of Ken Rice." The page's creator is spot-on: Whether it is the iconic eyebrows or the sardonic wit, Ken Rice is a true Pittsburgh rock star. (And some This Just In trivia: That screenshot you see on his fan page was taken by yours truly.)
* I wish for fewer standoffs in City Council. Of course, I also wish for fewer water-main breaks, shootings, stabbings, fires, car crashes and lost elderly people. But mostly, fewer City Council standoffs, because they always seem to bump the stories that are more visually stimulating. Like water-main breaks, shootings, stabbings, fires, crashes -- and even lost elderly people.
* I wish that this year, WTAE.com's most-watched video won't be about a 43-point buck.
* I wish Pittsburgh would rise in its TV-market rankings, so local stations would have the resources to give us better bad news.
* I wish that WTAE "Futurecasts" would offer more valuable information than whether it will snow tomorrow. Should I buy more Ugg stock, or sell? When will James Harrison break Tom Brady's hair?
* I wish that over-the-top WPXI sports reporter John Fedko would really retire, so my son will stop putting on makeup in hopes of getting on TV at high school football games. I also wish that WPXI news reporter Dee Thompson would unretire, so David Johnson can say things like, "Looks like there's some lightning hitting that tree you're standing under in Mount Washington, Dee!"
* I wish Sally Wiggin would live to be 99 years old. And keep working until she's 100, because we've never had a zombie anchor, except for WPXI's Bob Bruce. (Did you know that the YouTube video where Bruce seems to doze on camera has more than 157,000 hits?)
* I wish Andrew Stockey of WTAE would jazz up his wardrobe, just like colleague Wendy Bell or KDKA's Stephanie Watson. I can see him in purple velvet, with just a hint of cleavage.
Happy New Year, everybody!