I am a woman in a relatively new relationship. Prior to this guy, I had a deep disgust for anything anal-related. After some dedicated work and anilingus on his part, he's helped me overcome my fears of the "grossness" of the area and made me an enthusiastic convert -- as a recipient.
He has expressed an interest in me reciprocating in butt play and rimming. I know it would bring him a lot of pleasure -- but I'm having trouble getting over two issues.
1. I'm submissive and prefer my partners to be dominant. Butt play on him would ruin his "dominant" role for me. However, that problem is minor compared to ...
2. He is overweight and hairy, and no amount of cleaning dispels the musk from that area for more than five minutes. When I'm going down on him, I deal, as it isn't too bad. But moving further into his butt area -- which is pretty darn huge, hairy and flabby -- would require burying my face in the smelliest and least attractive area of his body.
I feel it's too horrible to tell him, "I would probably do it if you dropped 50 pounds." It's also not fair, as he's an enthusiastic anal giver (though if not giving means never receiving, I'm willing to go without).
How do I get over this, Dan? I truly am attracted to him, just not his butt. I want to be GGG, but this is really pushing my limits.
Can't Go There
I don't know how you get over it -- hell, I don't think I'll ever get over reading your letter.
Anal pleasure isn't just for butts on the Australian men's Olympic diving team. Butts come in all different sizes, shapes and flavors, and not every butt looks as good in a Speedo or -- presumably -- tastes as good out of a Speedo as, say, Matthew Mitcham's butt does. And, hey, reciprocity makes the orgasms go round. But there are times when there's no getting over something, and a face-saving white lie is in order.
Tell him that, as much as you appreciate his efforts to open you up -- figuratively and literally -- to the receiving end of butt play, you don't think you'll ever get over your hang-up about being on the giving end. He doesn't need to know that you might feel differently if Matthew Mitcham had asked you to eat his tiny, thoroughly chlorinated butt, so feel free to leave that bit out. End by telling him you'll understand if he no longer wishes to indulge you in the butt play that, thanks to his efforts, you've come to enjoy so much.
I'm a straight 22-year-old male. I have a skin-picking fetish. I get off on picking scabs and patches of dry skin. I also have seborrhoeic dermatitis, which causes flaky, white patches of dry skin to grow on my scalp. I pick all the scales off my scalp daily. I masturbate afterward and have had some of the best orgasms of my life this way.
My problem: None of my girlfriends have been willing to indulge my fetish, even after I've been willing to indulge their kinks. They tell me it is unclean or dangerous. Even paid escorts have refused to pick my scalp for me. A woman picking my scalp while I jerk off is my biggest fantasy.
Surely there must be a scab-picking girl out there for me. How do I find her?
Scab Kinkest In Need
It's going to be that kind of column -- the kind you don't write over lunch. (My apologies to anyone who's reading this over lunch.)
Your fetish -- which, according to the interwebs, goes by the name "phaneromania" -- is blessedly uncommon, SKIN, as well as a pretty high bar to clear. Picking the scabs off someone else's scalp while he beats off isn't something that even the most open-minded partner would regard as a GGG-related responsibility.
But don't lose hope. While there are always more men into a given fetish than women, fetishes that involve medical and/or physical maladies tend to tap women at slightly higher rates than other fetishes. It's the caregiver/nurturer thing taken to a sixy extreme (sick + sexy = sixy).
Keep being open with the women you date about your ultimate turn-on, and you may hit the sixy jackoffpot. Your only other hope is enough: You'll have to meet a woman who loves you enough to do this for you or you'll have to pay a woman enough to do this for you.
I'm a 34-year-old openly gay, white-collar professional man in an open relationship. I've been getting fucked on the side for the past two years by a 30-year-old closeted bisexual, total-top, white, blue-collar steelworker. He texts me when he's horny, I show up, he pounds my brains out and ejaculates, and I leave. Maybe a little chitchat after. He seems like a nice guy, and it's a NSA attachment that works well.
The issue: I'm afraid he may be a white supremacist. While he has never said anything to me, he has numerous tattoos, including the infamous "88" tattoo (which usually refers to "Heil Hitler," with H being the eighth letter of the alphabet). Additionally, I've seen some paramilitary-type stuff around his place. He's never said anything bigoted about minorities, and he obviously has no problem with gay guys -- he knows I'm open and out -- and I don't think he's planning for RAHOWA, but I'm wondering about the tattoos and am afraid to ask.
Do I have to give up his eight-inch blue-collar cock and our no-strings slam sessions because he may hold ideas I find offensive?
Worried Over Racist Dick
Color me intolerant, but I don't think a member of one oppressed minority group -- that would be you, WORD -- should be bouncing on the dick of someone who endorses hatred directed at members of other minority groups.
Which means you will have to give up those hot slam sessions -- but only if this dude is a racist and/or anti-Semitic piece of shit.
Doesn't that 88 tattoo prove that he's a POS? Not necessarily. It only proves that he was a POS at the time he got the tattoo. People can become more tolerant, but tattoos are forever. He may be ashamed of that tattoo and planning to get it inked over -- but you won't know until you ask.
And you should ask, WORD. If turns out he's still a racist and/or anti-Semitic POS, you shouldn't see him anymore.
HEY, EVERYBODY: Do me a favor. Go to tinyurl.com/24rjpv7. Find "Colleen K." Click "View profile." Click "Like this." Thank you.