Chocolate milk can put a smile on your face and make a peanut-butter sandwich taste better.
Brunton Dairy Farm's chocolate milk can end the war, halt global warming, fend off the IRS, make dogs like cats, kids eat liverwurst and ward off an onslaught of ocelots.
It's also delicious.
This miraculous elixir can be found through a red door with no sign on a large farm in Beaver County. The car ride to Brunton's isn't long in miles, but it is short on signposts. City slickers beware: Road signs are mere sticks in the ground often obscured by unidentifiable flora.
The Brunton family's dairy farm is more than 175 years old -- more than long enough to perfect a mixture of bovine juice and cocoa. This stuff cannot be approximated by employing Nestle Quik, Hershey's syrup or even Brooklyn's Fox's U-bet.
Brunton's concoction, which is sold in glass bottles, is perhaps unlike any chocolate milk you've ever tasted. It's thick, creamy and pours like a shake. Brunton's is to store-bought chocolate milk as Guinness is to Rolling Rock.
Using a straw may damage your embouchure and dash any hopes for a tuba-playing career.
Tempted though you may be to inquire about the recipe, it's best to leave a masterpiece a mystery.
Brunton's Holsteins are also responsible for a variety of delicious ice creams, savory hamburger, cheese, strawberry milk and orange cream. Their cookies-and-cream ice cream is memorable, as is a grilled burger made from their frozen ground beef.
Brunton's operates on an honor system. While the family is off tending to the herd, consumers are left to their own devices, which include a pad, pen, calculator and a metal device with a knob. The customer tallies up the bill, folds the cash, drops the dough into the machine's metallic maw and turns the knob. Apparently, Brunton's farm thinks its customers are as trustworthy as its dairy products are delicious.
Brunton's sells to homes within 15 miles and to select area stores including Murray Avenue Kosher Market, in Squirrel Hill, and to McGinnis Sisters stores, in Monroeville and Brentwood.
Brunton's Dairy Farm
3681 Ridge Road, Aliquippa