• Will kooky Joaquin Phoenix, nominated for The Master, show up?

Honestly, I kinda dread the Academy Awards ceremony — I'd rather be watching the much more interesting Girls and Enlightened over on HBO — but I feel as a film critic, it's my professional duty to tune in.

But a sliver of light has appeared in my day, with the discovery of WNYC / Studio 360's Oscar bingo cards. If the awards show is gonna be four hours of predictable tedium, then at least give me a checklist and something to do.

You can play online live, or, as I did, print out several cards. Things to mark off include: various films winning; Daniel Day-Lewis Scowls; Daniel Day-Lewis Smiles; "Beasts" Gets Shut Out; "Les Miz" Parody; and Nora Ephron Tribute. But even more thrilling is the laundry list of worn-out Oscar happenings: Tells Kids to Go to Bed; Thanks Harvey Weinstein; Trips on Way to Stage; and Refuses to Wrap Up Speech.

Folks, it's still gonna be a long night — and a likely beard-off between Argo and Lincoln — but this should help you stay awake.

The Academy Awards are 8:30 p.m. Sun., Feb. 24, on ABC.