Don't be a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit: Tomorrow night at the Hollywood Theater in Dormont, they'll be screening the classic National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, and it benefits a little girl with leukemia, so you probably better go.

Five-year-old Atalaya Machi has acute lymphoblastic leukemia; the screening tomorrow night (Thu., Dec. 20), the cost of which is a $10 donation, raises money to help her family with medical bills and other costs incurred because of the illness.

It's a good cause; it's a classic; there's other fun like a tacky clothing contest; why miss it?

Facebook event here for more info.

Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol?